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2010-01-25 01:17
Sunday night in the real world.

Sunday night and I am home watching 'Sex and the City'. Feeling very melancholy. I watched this movie about a year and a half ago. I was curled up on the sofa, while my fiance,(actually that night 'ex-fiance') was sleeping peacefully in our double bed. I was waiting for my friends to come the next morning to move me out of there and back to Kingston. My mind was spinning, and I needed to drown out the thoughts, so on went the tv. Sex and the City was on 'pay-per-view' so I ordered it, and it played over and over until my friends woke me early the next day.

It has taken this much time to find myself again. He had stripped away so much of my identity, and when I left, he still wasn't quite finished. If I could say anything to singles, it would be to always be true to who you are. Don't ever let anyone take that from you. When you do find someone, they have to love you for who you are. People are not projects. I know I am an odd and eccentric gal, riddled with wildly conflicting qualities. I am unique, as everyone is, like a snowflake. Someday I will find someone who is not scared off by my personality, lol. Til then, i am happy with myself, now that I have found me  

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2010-01-18 03:16
A new year, for a 40 year old single

2010 is now underway and I have been looking back at my life. I can't say there is much I would change. However, it seems like time for me to get things going in my own direction. Sometimes life just seems to happen, random acts send you spinning off in one direction or another, it has all seemed so out of control. I guess I had always embraced the randomness of it all.  Now, I am having a new idea, CONTROL. I am 40 after all, and an adult in just about every way. Maybe I should start doing the things I like. Imagine living your life and actually enjoying it??? Hate your job? Change it! Hate your town? Move! This is my thinking. It might make life extraordinarily difficult, but I would rather labour doing what I enjoy than go through the repetitive motions that are familiar, but hated. Now, back to banging my head against my computer monitor while I try and learn some new programs   Change may be good, but it isn't always easy.

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